20

today i stood in front of the mirror, my body dripping rain.
i just stared and stared and stared,
watching droplets slide off the strands in my hair
catching them in my hand,
feeling them in my papercuts,
rubbing them into my dry, wrinkled palms.

i've been so thirsty, i realized
for beauty, that i've tried to see it in everything.
even in extremes, like a lost child's wail, a car crash, a family torn apart by war.

and now i know it doesn't work like that.
you can't look for beauty,
you have to stand terribly still and and and
don't even think about blinking!
you might just miss it.


but i need it now more than ever. something beautiful, that is.

this is my life...
i've always been thirsty, thirsty.